The problem with most men is that when they are around attractive women they feel the need to gain their approval by being overly nice, courteous and so on. The problem is that this puts her in the position to lead and if she is leading she will never feel that spark of attraction for you. As mentioned previously, women are attracted to strong and confident men and a strong guy will never allow a woman to lead.
Funnily enough, the best way to spark that fire of attraction is not to need her approval and to show her as much. The trick is to make her work for your attention rather than the other way around. This will unbalance her cool and aloof approach to men simply because you are doing something so unexpected and out of the ordinary she will be hard pressed not to at least be curious about you.
The more you appear like you don’t need her approval, the more confident you will appear and confidence is very attractive to both women and men. So, the more confident you can act in every situation, the more attractive you will be.
However, remember that there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. While arrogance may be appealing to a certain degree, too much of it will make you look like a total jerk.
Most guys who fail with women always have an excuse, but most of the time that excuse is merely in their heads. You see, the main reason a lot of guys fail is because of the way they think which has an impact of their behavior.
For example, if you think that you will never have a chance at talking to an attractive woman then your actions will be in line with your thoughts. You will give off a “scared” vibe and you probably even won’t approach a woman.
On the other hand, the more confident you are in your abilities to charm and attract a woman, the stronger you will appear and the more attractive you will be. Most of the time the shortcomings we imagine we have stop us from acting and they are so deeply ingrained in our psyche that we don’t even realize we have them.
The best way for you to overcome this problem is, first, with a little soul searching. You have to identify what the excuse is that has been holding you back so that you can deal with it. Next, you need to educate yourself about women so you know what sparks that feeling of attraction.
You see, as soon as you come to understand exactly what women desire then you will be able to project an aura of strength that they will find absolutely irresistible. Every woman has a little girl inside of her longing to be protected and cared for and that little girl is the one who will have the final word. If you begin to understand that little girl and speak to her, showing her that you are in control of every aspect of your life, then women will be attracted to you like a moth to flame.
But you absolutely need to accept the fact that you can improve and it is within your power to become more attractive to women. Forget the excuses that nature hasn’t endowed you with Apollo’s beauty or that you can’t compete because you aren’t running a Fortune 500 company. You need to stop the self-pity and start understanding once and for all that if you can make a woman feel good then you will win out over any stud with a Ferrari if he has the personality of a wet rag.
Nice Guys vs Bad Boys
One of the biggest pet peeves nice guys have is that the bad boys always get the girl. Why? Well, while you are trying to wine and dine her, and basically kiss her backside and treat her with kid gloves so as not to upset her, in comes the bad boy who couldn’t really care less what she thinks about him, or what anyone thinks for that matter.
You see, bad boys project an aura of danger and power that women are attracted to simply because they don’t care what anyone else thinks – or pretend not to care – and because they are in control.
Women love strong men and most bad boys project this strength which is why women fall head over heels for them. The problem is that some of these guys turn out to be abusive jerks later on in the relationship, yet you still hear some of the most beautiful women say they love them and can’t give them up, even after these guys have beaten up on them.
On the other hand, you have the “nice guy” who is basically seen as being dishonest because, usually, they put aside their own needs and desires in order to please a woman. Since women are quite adept at picking up on the slightest things she will immediately think that the guy is being nice simply because he wants something from her or because he isn’t comfortable with who he is. So, he is either a pussy or a manipulator, neither of which women find attractive.
Now, imagine that you could combine the best of both worlds, namely projecting the same “bad boy” power while never becoming abusive or controlling. You would, essentially, be the perfect guy and the best thing is that you can learn to exude the same aura of power. You just need to believe that you can and be willing to work on building your confidence levels.
Personality Traits Women Find Irresistible
There are certain personality traits that you can cultivate which women find completely irresistible. The thing is that women will be attracted and stay attracted to a man who can make her feel good when she is with him or is thinking of him. This means that your personality is your most powerful asset because you can use it to make them feel good.
For example, one thing women love is a man with a sense of humor. The more you can make her laugh, the more she will want to spend time with you. Likewise, women are attracted to intelligent men, especially those who know how to use that intelligence to surprise her and engage her.
Education is another powerful weapon you can use because women love to hear stories about people or places. Not only will you always have a topic to talk about but it will be something interesting that engages her rather the same boring rote topics most guys talk about, like her favorite color or where she works.
Women are also attracted to dominant men, even if they don’t realize it. Biologically, women have been hardwired to seek the protection of a male and the more dominant the man, the better the chance he has at protecting her. However, don’t mistake being dominant with being controlling. You need to dominate the situations in your life rather than being controlling of her and taking away her individuality.
Men who are thoughtful are also very attractive to women. You see, women aren’t overjoyed when they receive a gift because of the gift itself but because it is proof that you were thinking of them. The gift is merely a symbol so any display of the fact that you were thinking about her will make her feel good, even if it is to tell her you weren’t happy that she went out with another guy for lunch.
If you want to really impress a woman, then you need to learn to notice details. You see, women spend a lot of time making sure they look good, so if she has a nice hairdo, it wasn’t an accident. She isn’t wearing that hot dress because the wardrobe fell on her either. She is trying to impress you and if you notice these details she will be extremely impressed that you noticed her attempts to be attractive to you.
Women also like men who are aggressive, but not in the sense that you won’t take no for an answer. That’s called date rape.
No, aggressive men that women like are those who know what they want in life and they go after it with everything they have and won’t stop until they achieve their goal.
As we have already mentioned, women love a man who is confident and even a little cocky. Again, don’t confuse this with being arrogant. The right attitude is actually a lot of confidence combined with humor. In other words you are so confident that you can even laugh at yourself without feeling insecure.
Insecurity is the Biggest Turn Off
One of the biggest obstacles men face is insecurity. This is the one thing that will render you completely unattractive to any woman. Women can detect insecurity and neediness immediately and there’s nothing that will turn her off quite as much as an insecure guy.
A man who doesn’t feel comfortable in a certain situation or is uncomfortable with who he is will come across as being insecure. He may try to appear confident, but it is quite clear that is only an act because he is trying to gain approval at the same time through what he says or how he acts.
Some examples of insecure behavior include allowing others to make the decisions. So, if you are always waiting for her to decide what you will be doing or where you will be going she will think you are insecure. Women like it when men decide what is going to happen and then they simply do it. If she wants to do something else, she will tell you but don’t always expect her to make the decisions.
Another way you come off as being insecure is if you are constantly arguing about everything. Even if you are right, it just makes you appear insecure that you have to argue with every little thing just to prove you are right.
You also want to avoid crowding a woman in the beginning or being too touchy-feely. You need to be a little more laid back and let her become comfortable with you or she will think you are insecure. If you are constantly touching her she will either think you only want to get her into bed or that you are afraid she is going to run away.
Women and Sex
Let’s get something straight. Women love sex just as much as men. Society has simply made it a taboo topic but the truth of the matter is that women enjoy sex and, yes, they talk about it with their girlfriends all the time. Ok, it’s true that they aren’t as fixated as men are but they still will find themselves magnetically drawn to a man who is a skillful lover.
Finding a man who knows how to please a woman in bed is not easy, as most guys are quite selfish in this department. Women are different than men when it comes to sexual pleasure and their mind needs to be involved just as much as their body or there won’t be any fireworks. Most guys just rush through it, without realizing that it takes much more than a “wham, bang, thank you ma’am” to please a women in bed.
You need to brand the word foreplay into your brain with a red, hot poker because if you get the foreplay right, women won’t be able to help themselves. You will end up having to beat them off with a stick.
Foreplay is more than sex, it’s all the little details that will get her imagination fired up and wanting more. It’s about well-placed touches when you are out with her, it’s about softly telling her what you would like to be doing with her even though you are in public, it’s about setting the mood and building the anticipation. The more sexual tension and anticipation you build, the quicker she will melt in your arms.
How does this affect your ability to date any girl? Women pick up on things like this quickly because they are masters at reading body language. And a man who knows how to please a woman exudes a certain confidence that says “I am going to rock your world” and women can pick up on that.
By becoming a master at pleasing women, you will not only become more attractive to women, but you will also maintain that attraction. After all, a skilled lover is a rare commodity and they won’t want to let you go.
Yes, women are more attracted to personality rather than looks, but this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t make yourself as presentable as possible. This is because women make a lot of decisions based on very small details. For example, if you are too casually dressed then she will think you are simply too lazy to look after yourself and therefore will probably have an unkempt home and you would probably present too much work for her to be bother with.
On the other end of the spectrum, if you overdo your appearance and look too put together, she will automatically think that you probably spend more time in front of the mirror than she does and she doesn’t want to date someone who is more interested in himself than in her.
Yes, getting the right balance is a little tricky but as long as you look after yourself and that includes losing the beer belly, you will find that more women will be attracted to you. All you have to do is pick up a magazine and see what’s in fashion, spend a few dollars on some new clothes and away you go.
One thing is for sure, though. If you go around wearing a pair of jeans that have seen better days and you look nine months pregnant, you can be certain that attractive women will not give you a second glance.
You see, it simply comes down to the fact that women take time to make themselves more attractive to men, and it does take a lot of time and work, so they expect the same consideration in return, which is natural. So, if you really want to be able to date any girl then you need to get your act together, forget the six pack every night and hit the gym. And don’t start whining that you can never look like the muscle bound studs that are on the cover of romance novels. No one expects you to, but you can get yourself in shape which will not only help you find more success with women but you’ll also be healthier which means you’ll have more years to enjoy life.
Why Should I Change?
Well, you don’t have to change if you don’t want to. No one is forcing you to do it. But you will have to think about whether it’s worth the effort if you want to be able to date any girl, no matter how attractive she is. The thing is that we don’t live in a perfect world and even if you want her to like you for who you are, no matter how you look then you are going to have a big problem.
Attractive women are approached by so many men that they need to use the outer appearance of a man to quickly decide whether or not he is worth her time. They judge the type of person you are based on the image you present and they will be hard pressed to look beyond an overweight and ungroomed appearance as well as a total lack of culture.
It’s also a matter of self-respect. Do you have so little respect for yourself that you feel you aren’t worth improving? Read a few books, get on the internet and learn a little about what’s going on in the world, have a shower every day, get your hair trimmed, go to the gym and suddenly you will find that your confidence will skyrocket as well.
Fear of Failure
One of the biggest problems men have is that they fail to take action because of a fear of failure. We are simply paralyzed by the fear of rejection so much that we would rather not take any action at all. The strange thing is that many men will walk into a high risk situation without a second thought, such as a fight, whereas we are paralyzed by the thought of talking to an attractive woman.
Think about it. In a fight you are
definitely going to experience some physical pain yet we are more afraid of
approaching an attractive woman than we are of getting into a fight, even
though the worst that can happen is that she will say no. But what if you
succeed? The payoff, in this case, is absolutely huge by comparison.